Rethinking Happiness
Happiness is noted as one of the most commonly pursued yet most vaguely defined goals in modern life. Many people seek it through career choices, personal development, relationships, or achievement. But when asked to articulate what happiness actually means to them, the answer is often unclear, inconsistent or elusive.
This article explores different perspectives on happiness, including psychological research and cultural interpretations, and offers a reflective starting point to form a more grounded, personal definition of what it means to live well.
Defining Happiness
Happiness is often explored through two distinct, but complementary, frameworks:
Hedonic wellbeing refers to the pursuit of pleasure, comfort, and the avoidance of pain. This concept, rooted in utilitarian philosophy and popularised by researchers like Ed Diener (1984), focuses on short-term enjoyment, and positive emotion. It’s the version of happiness we often associate with “feeling good”: relaxing, laughing, enjoying a meal.
Eudaimonic wellbeing, on the other hand, is about living in alignment with one’s values. Based on Aristotelian ethics and developed in modern psychology by Carol Ryff (1989), it emphasises purpose, authenticity, autonomy, and personal growth. This form of happiness is often quieter—more about being fulfilled than feeling good.
This distinction becomes especially important when happiness feels elusive. For example…
You might be doing things that bring pleasure - but feel unfulfilled.
Or you might be working toward a meaningful goal - but feel exhausted, and wonder why it doesn’t feel “happy.”
Hedonic wellbeing is like a spark, short bursts of enjoyment that brighten the moment. Eudaimonic wellbeing is more like a steady flame, it may not burn as brightly in any one moment, but it provides ongoing warmth and direction.
Both are valuable. The key is knowing which one you’re leaning on, and which one might need more attention right now.
Cultural Perspectives on Happiness
When people reflect on what makes them happy, they often assume they’re asking a personal question. And it is personal. It’s also cultural.
Our ideas about happiness are shaped by the environment we grow up in, the stories we hear, the expectations we absorb, and the values we’re taught to prioritise. Culture influences what we believe a “good life” looks like. Whether we realise it or not, many of our goals, definitions of success, and emotional benchmarks are inherited.
This matters because sometimes we pursue happiness in ways that feel misaligned, not because we’re doing something wrong, but because we’re following learnt behaviour that doesn’t reflect what truly matters to us.
Understanding how happiness is viewed across cultures offers a powerful perspective for self-reflection.
Cross-cultural research has shown that wellbeing is far more diverse than early psychological models suggested. These studies offer insights for redefining happiness on your own terms.
Cultural Interpretations of Happiness
Drawing on the work of cultural psychologist Batja Mesquita, we can understand happiness not just as a feeling that arises within individuals, but as an emotion shaped by the cultural environment we're embedded in. In her research, Mesquita demonstrates that emotions are not universal internal states but actually learned, expressed, and valued differently depending on social context.
This means that happiness is many things, depending on where and how you live.
Here are a few examples inspired by her work and related research:
In many East Asian cultures, happiness is closely tied to social harmony, balance, and context-appropriate behaviour. High-energy joy may be less emphasised than calm satisfaction or relational ease. Emotions are seen as interdependent, and fulfilment often includes the wellbeing of the group, not just the individual.
In Sub-Saharan African contexts, happiness is often defined through connection, contribution, and shared resilience. Emotional wellbeing is embedded in community, spirituality, and social responsibility. The focus is less on internal states, more on relational strength and collective flourishing.
In many Western cultures, particularly in North America and parts of Europe, happiness is often viewed as an internal emotional state linked to personal achievement, autonomy, and self-esteem. There's a cultural preference for high-arousal positive emotion (excitement, enthusiasm, success) and an emphasis on feeling good as a marker of doing well.
In Latin American regions, emotional expressiveness and interpersonal warmth are often seen as key ingredients of a good life. Despite economic or political instability, many people report high levels of wellbeing, which researchers associate with strong family ties, celebration of life, and relational depth.
These examples don’t reflect everyone within a culture, of course. But illustrate that the expectations around happiness can vary.
It’s important to notice that lived experience is rarely one-dimensional. Your experience of fulfilment may be shaped by many intersecting factors; your gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, role, health, age, and other aspects of identity. These factors shape what’s possible externally and they also influence how we internalise what is expected, allowed, or valued. Noticing how these layers interact can offer deeper clarity about what happiness means for you.
Why This Question Can Be Difficult to Answer
Many people struggle to articulate what makes them happy because the question is deceptively complex. What we enjoy can shift over time. What once felt fulfilling might now feel flat. And sometimes, we mistake what we think should make us happy for what actually does.
This is why happiness isn’t something to define once, but rather something to keep discovering.
Reflective Exercise: What Version of Happiness Are You Living?
If you are investigating what happiness means for you, you could consider the following prompts…
You may want to write your answers down or simply reflect on them in your mind.
What did I learn about what happiness “should” look like? (From family, school, media, religion, or society.)
Which of those beliefs still feel true for me now? Which feel outdated or external?
Do I equate happiness with ease, achievement, connection, freedom, or something else? Where did that association come from?
Have I ever felt out of step with what others seem to find fulfilling? What did that experience teach me?
What would a satisfying life look like if I removed the pressure to {add relevant pressure to you e.g. to perform or compare}?
Is there a different way of thinking about happiness that might feel more natural or meaningful to me now?
There are no right answers here, only useful ones :)
A Week of Noticing
If you're unsure how to answer the questions above, start with observation. Over the next week, try noting:
When do I feel most energised or present?
What drains me, even if it “should” be satisfying?
When do I lose track of time in a good way?
What themes or values show up in those moments?
What Supports Lasting Wellbeing?
While expressions of happiness vary, research identifies several recurring factors that contribute to enduring wellbeing:
Relatedness: Close relationships and a sense of belonging are noted as essential to psychological health.
Autonomy: The ability to make meaningful choices and pursue self-directed goals supports motivation and wellbeing.
Competence: Feeling effective and capable in one’s pursuits contributes to satisfaction and self-worth.
Meaning: Having a sense that life is significant can provide stability, motivation and emotional resilience
Emotional acceptance: Research shows people who routinely accept their negative emotions experience greater psychological health than those who suppress or judge them.
Notice that these are not inherent traits, they are conditions that can be developed through reflection, skill-building, and supportive environments.
In Summary...
Happiness is not a universal state, nor is it purely emotional. It is influenced by cultural values, social context, and personal beliefs.
While pleasure, meaning, and achievement can all contribute to wellbeing, their significance will differ depending on what you values and how you lives.
Understanding what happiness means for you might require time, honesty, and sometimes discomfort. The reward is clarity. Not about how to feel good all the time, but about how to live in a way that feels real, sustainable, and congruent with your own values.
Want to Explore What Fulfilment Looks Like for You?
If you're asking yourself questions about happiness, meaning, or professional fulfilment, I offer coaching that supports reflection and action. I would be happy (😁) to think along with you.
Reach out via email or schedule a call.
