Crafting Conversations that support your promotion
Most people know they should talk to their manager about progression, but the idea of actually doing it feels awkward. So they wait. And hope their manager brings it up first and comes with a plan. They usually don’t. Managers are busy, distracted, and dealing with their own pressures. Which means when you avoid saying what you want, it’s easy for your development to fall off their radar entirely.
Having this conversation can feel awkward or uncomfortable, and that’s completely normal. Most of us have been there, unsure where to start or worried about saying the wrong thing. The goal isn’t to have a perfect conversation; it’s to make your intentions clear, share your perspective, and create a path forward. Even small steps, booking a time, asking a few thoughtful questions, and following up, move the conversation and your career in a meaningful direction. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to start.
Here I have noted a few things to consider to help take control of the conversation and your career.
1.PLan
Book a good time. Your manager rushing between meetings can't give you the headspace you need. Studies on decision-making show people are bad at processing requests when they're stressed or distracted. Schedule a dedicated time with a calendar invite, and consider what will work best for both of you. Think about timing and the setting. A private space where you can talk without interruptions will help the conversation be focused and productive.
2.Be Specific
Research on goal-setting shows that clearly defined goals are much more likely to be achieved, while vague ones often get lost. A stronger approach is to be specific about what you want and the timeframe. For example: "I'd like to work towards a Senior role in the next year. Can we talk about what that would take?" This shows you've thought it through and you're asking for guidance, not demanding something on the spot.
3.It's About Growth
Carol Dweck’s research on mindset shows that people respond more positively when conversations are framed around development and readiness, rather than what you deserve (even though you probably do!). Instead, focus on the skills you’ve built and the contributions you’ve made. For example, you could say: “I’ve been developing skills in X and Y, and I feel ready to take on more responsibility. What does the next level look like?” This approach highlights your value, frames the discussion as a collaborative conversation, and positions you on equal footing
4.Come With Evidence
When you discuss your growth or readiness for a new role, it’s important to support your points with examples. Think about the projects you’ve led, the problems you’ve solved, and the impact of your work. Equally important is explaining why this work matters to you; your motivation and commitment make your case more compelling. Research shows that combining rational evidence with a personal, emotional connection is more persuasive than relying on either alone. By preparing specific examples and sharing the story behind them, you make it easier for your manager to understand both your contributions and your potential. And make it easier for them to advocate on your behalf.
5.Ask Questions
Research on negotiation and effective communication highlights the importance of asking questions to gather information and demonstrate genuine interest. Thoughtful questions signal that you are engaged, open to feedback, and committed to growth. You might explore areas such as skills development, leadership opportunities, and expectations for the next level. For example, you could ask:
“What skills should I focus on developing?”
“Where could I take on more leadership?”
“How do you define success at the next level?”
Asking questions in this way turns the conversation into a collaborative discussion and helps you gain clarity on how to progress.
6.Take it as a gift
If your manager offers feedback or expresses concerns, it can be a gift for a great conversation on your development. The most effective thing you can do is stay steady. Research in conflict resolution consistently shows that acknowledging feedback and exploring it with the person leads to far better outcomes than defending your case on the spot.
You might say something like, “I understand your point about stakeholder management. What are some ways for me to build that skill?”
This approach helps you clarify what’s really behind their feedback, encourages them to think more specifically about your development, and keeps the conversation forward-looking rather than adversarial.
7.Pin Down Next Steps
A good conversation can lose its impact if it ends without a clear next step. We’re far more likely to make progress when there’s something specific to work toward, rather than a general intention to “check in later.” Before you wrap up, try anchoring the discussion with something like: “Could we plan a follow-up in three months to review progress?”
It signals commitment, gives you both a timeline, and turns a single conversation into a path forward.
8.Follow Up
Within a day, send a brief email recapping what you discussed and what you both agreed to. It doesn’t need to be formal or long, just a simple summary. This creates a shared record, avoids misunderstandings, and shows that you’re taking the conversation seriously.
9.If They Say Not Yet
Sometimes the answer will be “not yet.” Resilience research shows that how you respond in these moments shapes future opportunities. Stay steady, acknowledge their perspective, and get specific: “I understand. What would need to happen for this to become possible?” This turns a vague delay into a clear roadmap and gives you something concrete to work toward.
Studies consistently show that people who advocate for themselves advance faster than those who wait to be noticed. So book the meeting. It might feel uncomfortable, but is it any less uncomfortable than you waiting for your time to come?
Want to talk?
Do you have a question or want to discuss your personal situation? Get in touch: send an email, or schedule a call.
